An uneducated diagnosis of 'The Office' characters
I, an English Literature grad, armed with nothing but an A-Level in psychology and a crippling love of the US Office, have decided that I'm going to diagnose the characters. Unprofessionally.
I love a sitcom. Well, I love the background noise.
As it turns out, rewatching sitcoms over and over (and over) is a surefire way to always have something going on in the background, and more importantly, something in the background that you don't need to concentrate on after the first watch - as a matter of fact, I'm watching Brooklyn 99 as I type.
However, this beloved background noise has certainly shuffled its way into my subconscious, and so, without further ado, this is my completely uneducated guess about the mental disorders of the characters from The Office (USA).
[Spoilers ahead]
MICHAEL GARY SCOTT
Played by Steve Carell
Oh Michael. He has some real problems.
To start with the blindingly obvious, he probably has ADHD. From his distracted nature to his incredibly shrewd hyper-fixation on occasional business meetings (possibly limited to Chillis and face-offs with David Wallace and Charles Miner), Micheal is a poster boy for the mix-and-match world that is ruled by Hyperactive Attention Deficit Disorder.
Secondly, I have to argue that Michael has some serious trauma going on. From his horrific stories of his depressing birthdays to his heartbreaking admission of craving companionship in his cameo on 'Fundle Bundle', Michael Gary Scott did not have a good childhood. He was lonely and over-compensated, and is now an incredibly unbalanced adult. Thank god for the balance that is Holly Flax, right!?
And of course we can't just breeze past his immense emotional immaturity. I don't even know what to do with that. Micheal just had a really rough childhood. I'm still overjoyed that he found someone who calmed in innate chaos and allowed him to actually find himself.
"That's what she said'...?
JAMES (JIM) DUNCAN HALPERT
Played by John Krasinski
Ah, Jimothy. You started off so neurotypical. I mean, in all fairness, Jim stays pretty neurotypical. Apart from making some questionable decisions (vis-a-vis Athlead, and perhaps being quite cruel to Pam in the later seasons), Jim is kind of...okay?
I guess you could chuck a slice of immaturity in there, but really, who wouldn't want to prank Dwight?
Also he's 6'11 and weighs 90 pounds. Gumby has a better body than him.
PAMELA (PAM) MORGAN BEESLY
Played by Jenna Fischer
Pam, Pam, Pam. You've been through the wringer.
I cant help but assume you've got some trust issues. I also can't blame you. Pam had the worst fiancé ever, so she inevitably has some real problems, especially when Jim, the man she decided to truly trust, started to be sneaky around her.
Pam is also super anxious. She's anxious about her art, about speaking her mind and about generally being brave. It's wonderful to see her flourish in later seasons, but shy Pam always has a space in my heart. I see you scared Pam, and I get you.
Also, she failed art school.
DWIGHT KURT SCHRUTE
Played by Rainn Wilson
We already know that Dwight has crippling anxiety. Well, we know that Dwight's 'other cousin Mose' has anxiety. And that he is thankful for Nellie's help. So Mose Dwight is definitely anxious.
I’d also argue that Dwight is on the autistic spectrum. His need for things to be in the right place, his hyper-fixation on Karate, his lack of empathy for anybody but Michael, Angela and Philip (and I guess eventually Jim, Pam and Oscar), his incredible brain, his lightning fast ability to recall statistics and his straight forward approach to everything are all key markers of autism (and a superpower, especially when fighting off violent ex-fiancés in the Office.)
Also, he's a kiss ass.
KELLY KAPOOR
Played by Mindy Kaling
Kelly should be studied as a psychological experiment.
Alongside a crippling attachment disorder (for some reason, mainly to Ryan) to her super hyperactivity - 'Fashion show, fashion show, fashion show at lunch!' - and some shockingly underrepresented body dysmorphia, Kelly is a bubbling pot of comorbidity.
Don't even get me started on how she was a childhood bully - and I guess an adult bully?
Either way, Kelly is seriously deranged, but her biggest sin? Wearing white to Phyllis' wedding. Unforgivable.
RYAN HOWARD
Played by BJ Novak
Ryan Howard. The renown insolent playboy of the office. The man voted 'hottest in the office' multiple years in a row (although Michael is so biased). I know, for a fact that Ryan has some kind of deep narcissistic personality disorder.
From struggling with anyone else being praised to having the largest ego in modern television, Ryan is a truly dislikable, psychotic character. With a massive superiority complex.
Of all of the characters in the show, I think that Ryan the temp is the one who should go to therapy first. Yikes.
STANLEY HUDSON
Played by Leslie David Baker
Stanley Hudson, the mean old walrus of the office, seems at face value like a pretty normal, if not incredibly disgruntled middle-aged man. But I vote we delve a little deeper.
I would go out on a limb and suggest that alongside some hardcore pessimism, Stanley might suffer from chronic fatigue syndrome. No body should need to take so many naps, or be so tired, or struggle to walk up the stairs.
I could also argue that Stanley has deep seated issues with commitment. Maybe because of the two affairs he had over the course of the show. Gross, Stanley.
Also, he crushes his wife during sex and his heart sucks.
KEVIN MALONE
Played by Brian Baumgartner
Sweet, sweet Kevin is undeniably mentally challenged. I'd even go as far to say that Kevin probably suffers from dyslexia and dyscalculia. On top of that, I'd argue that Kevin also has an eating disorder - he eats when stressed or upset, and can't seem to go more than a couple of minutes without consuming some food or another.
In the earlier seasons, Kevin is also definitely depressed after his relationship collapses. Poor, soft Kevin. What are these women doing to you!?
Also, I can't decide between a fat joke and a dumb joke.
PHYLLISS LAPIN-VANCE
(VANCE REFRIGERATION)
Played by Phyllis Smith
This might be a weird opinion, but I think Phylis Vance is a stone cold psychopath. She thrives on violence - for example, calling Bob (Bob Vance, Vance Refrigeration) every-time someone vaguely gets in her way, or going out to the bars in a low cut top, just so her aforementioned husband will beat men up when they flirt with her.
She has moments of caring, but for the most part, she is callous, cruel, and kind of calculating. I don't trust her.
She has a lot to learn about this town, sweetie.
CREED BATTON ('THATS ALL INCLUSIVE')
Played by Creed Bratton
I don't actually know where to start with fake-diagnosing Creed. The man is clinically insane. He's a (probable) murderer, a (definite) drug dealer and an all round criminal ... with what I can only identify as schizoaffective disorder.
From never being truly present in any conversation to seeing people ('what about your friend?'), Creed is a hot mess.
But you know, what happens in the Grass Roots, stays in the Grass Roots. Or everything gets blamed on William Charles Schneider. Easy.
Also, his teeth called, his breath stinks.
ANDREW (ANDY) BAINES BERNARD
Played by Ed Helms
It's worth noting that Andy gets worse the more the show progresses. He is never normal though.
When we meet Andy, he struggles with anger issues and a superiority complex that rivals Ryan’s. As we progress later into the season, we discover that Andy is also also chaotic, spoiled, self-centred and manipulative.
He tries to ruin Dwight's career (nearly succeeding), leaves Erin to live on a boat, and tries to sabotage everything that doesn't go his way. Although we can explain away some of Andy's personality traits by his AWFUL upbringing - Walter and Ellen Bernard are truly vile parents - Andy is a bad person.
Also, Cornell called, they think he sucks.
KELLY ERIN HANNON
Played by Ellie Kemper
Sweet, darling Erin. She has some trauma packed in. I have to assume that Erin has some PTSD from her questionable upbringing, especially in terms of her own space and her non-existent ability to cope with losing.
She was thrown around from foster home to foster home as a child, so her sense of identity is very skewed.
I am so happy that she broke up with Andy - she deserved much better (like Pete), and the two of them were a poisonous cocktail of mental disorders.
Bless her, I'm happy about her ending.
JAN LEVINSON-GOULD
Played by Melora Hardin
Jan Levinson-Gould (although, no Gould. 'Did Gould die!?') is a poisonous cocktail. Armed with some serious esteem issues, a massive ego, a lack of empathy, and some predatory tendencies (really, she only went for vulnerable men - Michael and Hunter) Jan is a nightmare.
She's vicious, inhuman and angry at everyone else for the state of her life. She's also abusive, which is never good. Jan probably borders on psychopathy too, if you think about it.
Jan is bad news. A possible Scranton Strangler suspect, I think?
MEREDITH PALMER
Played by Kate Flannery
Whatever you say about Meredith Palmer, she ain't no snitch. Or more importantly, she does not lack self confidence. Meredith knows who she is. She's comfortable with that. She is one on of the most self-sufficient characters on the office.
Aside from that, she does harbour some big hoarding tendencies, and of course we have to mention her suspected alcoholism - but you know, it was college!
Also, she's slept with so many guys she's starting to look like one.
DARRYL PHILBIN
Played by Craig Robinson
Darryl is a pretty solid, neurotypical guy, but he sometimes has some serious problems with commitment. And saying goodbye. And being gentle with people.
Okay, so maybe Darryl has some issues, but on the whole, he's not a bad guy. He is kind to people he loves, but can fly off the handle easily, so perhaps he has some anger issues. He has issues with his body and has little patience for stupidity, or Michael. His character development is one of the best on the show, and although he can be possessive of his things and sharp on occasion, he's one of the most down-to-earth employees Dunder Mifflin has to offer.
He's a refreshing, realistic character in a world of Michael Scotts and Andy Bernards. But he should probably go to therapy anyway, mainly to sort out that commitment issue.
ROBERT CALIFORNIA/BOB KAZMAKIZ/THE F*CKING LIZARD KING
Played by James Spader
The almighty, the intense, the unreachable Lizard King. Robert California is a straight up alien. I don't know if that counts as a mental disorder, but I don't think California can even be diagnosed. He's another level of being. But if we're being pragmatic, Robert California is a narcissistic, manipulative, adulterous, chaotic man. California is like an older version of Ryan Howard, but with a concerning amount of control over others.
But really, I quite like him. He levels out the others.
And let's be realistic, it's always fun to see a little chaos, right?
A little chaos = 'The F*cking Lizard King'
OH, AND TOBY FLENDERSON, I GUESS
Played by Paul Lieberstein
And finally, poor Toby. Immediate diagnosis suggests some real depression, loneliness and some deep-seated self loathing.
Actually, that's the overall diagnosis. Toby can never catch a break. It's no wonder his life is so cripplingly sad, and that he tries to befriend a mass murder to fill the hole. Oh Toby, what on earth happened to you in your childhood that made you like this? Was it your brother and his hoard of preserves?
However cruel you may think Michael was towards him, I think his grating sadness would get to me soon, like Eeyore, but infinitely less cute (sorry Paul Leiberstein).
Go to therapy Toby.
I hope you have enjoyed my chaotic and inexperienced ramblings of diagnoses, and maybe agree with them. Either way, this was actually quite fun to do.
Psychoanalysis of sitcom characters is fascinating, even if its not the point of the show, and it makes the constant rewatches much more interesting!
Regardless of whether this is a useful article in any way, shape or form, a great man named Michael Scott once said' "sometimes I'll start a sentence, and I don't even know where it's going. I just hope I find it along the way."
So voila, an uneducated diagnosis of The Office (USA) characters!
[Please note that all art displayed in this article is by the author, based on promotional shots or scene screen grabs from NBC's The Office (USA), and the author is in no way medically qualified. This is for entertainment purposes only.]